A Dutch woman living in Mumbai has sparked a wider conversation online after sharing her personal experience of raising a child in India, drawing comparisons with parenting in the Netherlands. Her reflections, posted on Instagram, have resonated with many parents navigating cross-cultural lifestyles.
Ivana, who has been living in India for nearly nine years, shared her thoughts while celebrating her daughter’s second birthday. Instead of framing one country as “better” than the other, she emphasised that parenting across cultures is about understanding trade-offs and adapting to different systems.
“One of the biggest shifts for me was realising that it’s not about judging which is better, but about learning how things work differently,” she noted in her post.
A key theme in her comparison is the role of community. Ivana described parenting in the Netherlands as often feeling like a “solo marathon,” where parents manage responsibilities largely on their own. In contrast, she said life in Mumbai offers a strong support system, with family members, neighbours and even residential communities actively involved in a child’s upbringing.
“In Mumbai, the ‘village’ is real,” she wrote, adding that someone is always around to help, play with or look out for a child. However, she admitted that adjusting to this level of shared responsibility took time, given her independent upbringing.
She also pointed to how children are perceived in public spaces. According to Ivana, toddlers in the Netherlands are not always welcome in certain settings like restaurants, whereas in India, children are more widely accepted in social environments. This, she suggested, creates a more inclusive atmosphere for families.
Parenting philosophies also differ significantly, she observed. While Dutch culture encourages early independence—such as children cycling to school at a young age—Indian parenting tends to emphasise interdependence and community bonds. Ivana said she appreciates India’s sense of belonging but also believes it is important for children to develop independent thinking and learn to question authority when needed.
Language exposure is another area where she sees a unique advantage. Growing up in Mumbai, her daughter is naturally picking up multiple languages, including Hindi, English and Dutch, along with words from Punjabi and Bengali spoken by people around her. Ivana described this as an organic cognitive benefit that she did not have to plan for.
Safety perceptions, she noted, vary sharply between the two countries. In cities like Amsterdam, children often enjoy greater physical independence outdoors, whereas in Mumbai, safety is more closely linked to supervision and restricted mobility. This difference, she said, required a significant mindset shift.
Education is another point of contrast. Ivana highlighted that academic pressure in India begins much earlier compared to the Netherlands, where early childhood education is more play-oriented. She described this as one of the more challenging adjustments in her parenting journey.
At the same time, she acknowledged certain practical advantages in India, such as the availability of domestic help. This support, she said, allows her to spend more time with her child without feeling overwhelmed—something that might have been more difficult in the Netherlands, where daycare is often introduced at an early age.
Reflecting on her journey, Ivana admitted that raising a child in Mumbai initially felt overwhelming due to the stark differences from her own upbringing. However, building connections with other parents, including fellow Dutch mothers, helped her navigate the transition.
Her post has struck a chord online, with many users relating to the cultural contrasts she described. It also raises a broader question: in an increasingly globalised world, is there a single “right” way to raise children, or is parenting ultimately shaped by context, culture and personal priorities?